Tuesday, February 25, 2014

More about Mom


As we spend more time as the hospital, we see there are fewer medical options to provide long term help for Mom.  Yesterday they did place a third stent into her colon, but they were not able to place it where they wanted to.  The GI team said there was a small chance it would alleviate the obstruction, but it seemed more likely that the stents or future stents would not work.


Mom’s surgeon came to talk to her last night, and the rest of us were with her.  He spoke to her thoughtfully and gently about her situation.  He said that surgery to fix the bowel obstruction was a tough option because there were many downsides – it might not work, it would be very difficult to heal, new tumors could cause new obstructions.  With no chemo options available there was nothing to keep the cancer in check.  Mom said she was interested in having her remaining time be of the best quality that it could be. He said it could be a few weeks, it could be a few months, but gently suggested it would not be much time.


Mom was so very strong and amazing during the talk with the doctor.  She said this was not the news we had been hoping for, but in many ways it was not a surprise.  Mom talked about how grateful she was for this past year, how it had been such a gift to do special things, to spend time with friends and family, to enjoy life.  As I write this I don’t have enough mental or emotional capacity to find the right words or even remember her exact words to convey how inspiring Mom was and how helpful the doctor was to her and us.


We would like to bring her home to her Golden Pond House for hospice care, to watch her beloved pond, to be near her fireplace, to be with Dad and us. However, that is difficult to know the specifics at this time.  The doctor is weighing different options about whether to place some tubes to continually drain her fluids.  She is experiencing one of her intense pain episodes this morning, so the doctor's first priority is to manage her pain.  We hope to bring her home within the week but we just need to take things day by day.


When her pastor and a few of her close friends from seminary came this weekend, Mom told them that she really felt that God was leading her through all of this, just like how he led her to Rhode Island, the church there, then seminary and ordination.  This too was part of her journey and she felt God’s presence along the way.  She also said they she really felt held up by everyone’s prayers.  Thank you for your wishes and prayers for all of us. 

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5 comments:

  1. With a broken heart I send my love and my prayers for peace during this time - for you, Denise, and for your family as you all journey through this. I have always known you as a woman of such strong faith and I thank God for your friendship and your ministry here in Fairhaven. May you be held each day in God's comforting arms.

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  2. Sending you many prayers and strength to carry you through this time. My heart goes out to you and the whole family.

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  3. Karyl BenoitFebruary 26, 2014

    My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. Denise is an amazing woman and you are all an exceptional family.....I'm sure you will find strength in God and each other as you take this journey. Wishing you all peace.

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  4. Though my heart is heavy reading this news, I can't help thinking how blessed it has been for you to have spent such wonderful, quality time w your family this past year. Wonderful memories for them to hold dear in years to come. I remember w fondness our time working together at Trinity church so many years ago and our friendship which developed during that time. Praying for you, Ed and your family. God's blessings on all of you. Linda Hope

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  5. Martha Counihan, osuFebruary 26, 2014

    You are all on an "angel walk" with Denise. The "angel walk" was a custom at a nearby retreat house for persons with AIDS, a moving experience for anyone facing the end of their earthly life. I pray for you all and know of the thoughts and prayres of your former Ursuline teachers and classmates.

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Thanks for your notes of encouragement for Denise and family.

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