Mom's Service

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you so much for all your kind words, stories and prayers.  In this past week, we have been really enjoying hearing about Mom in your letters and messages.

We wanted you to let you know that Mom's memorial service will be on Saturday, April 5, at 11 am at the First Baptist Church, 228 North Main Street, Fall River, MA.  We will have a reception afterwards in the church hall.

For those who are coming from out of town, we will be arranging room reservations at the Hampton Inn in nearby Westport, MA, 508-675-8500. Please wait until after March 17 to call for reservations.

Here is a brief write up about Mom that will run in the Fall River newspaper a week before her service.

With love and thanks, Mom's family

Pastor Denise Soebbing Soares, 68, of Tiverton, RI, passed away on March 8, 2014, after a courageous battle with pancreatic cancer. She was the beloved wife of Edward J. Soares.

Denise was born in Ipswich, MA, daughter of the late Marie Dunn Soebbing and the late Thomas J. Soebbing. Raised in Rochester, NY, she attended Our Lady of Mercy High School. An enthusiastic and bright student, she graduated from the College of New Rochelle with a BA in literature. There she met her loving husband Edward of forty-four years. They raised their family in Baldwin, NY. Denise nurtured in their children their love of learning, nature and family traditions.

After college, Denise worked as an in-house editor for several companies; as office administrator for several churches; and also ran her own handmade crafts business. At age 57, Denise entered Andover Newton Theological Seminary, MA. Denise was ordained an American Baptist minister, and felt blessed to be the pastor of Calvary United Presbyterian Church in Fall River, MA.

In addition to her husband, Denise will be greatly missed by her children, Christiana Jones and husband Jamie; Katharine Lucas and husband Chris; and Michael Soares and wife Jiff Martin. Her beloved grandchildren will fondly remember “DeeDee”: Graylin Lucas; Jackson, Sam and Juliet Jones; Elliot Rose and Robin Soares. She is also survived by her sisters Patricia Shields, Mary Ann Thomas, her brother Thomas Soebbing, and her nieces and nephews.

The memorial service celebrating her life will take place at the First Baptist Church, 228 North Main Street, Fall River, MA, on Saturday, April 5, 2014 at 11 am; reception to follow. In lieu of flowers, please direct donations to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Adult Palliative Care Program, 450 Brookline Avenue, Boston, MA, 02215.

Final Journey and Blessing

With heavy hearts, we want to tell you that our wonderful Mom passed away on Saturday, March 8. Our hearts ache with a loss that we do not yet even fully comprehend, but we find comfort that she is free of her earthly burdens and can be her true beautiful and radiant self once again. As a dear friend said, heaven has gained a truly bright star.

The night before Mom's passed, one of Mom's beloved friends said a beautiful prayer as the family gathered around Mom.

"Guardian of the Galaxies,

Mother of the Universe,

Father of the Stars Beyond Counting,

may we rest in thee tonight."

We will celebrate Mom at a memorial church service at First Baptist Church of Fall River, MA, the church of her adult baptism and ordination.  The service will take place on Saturday, April 5, 2014, at 11 am.  The church is located at 228 North Main Street.

We are sorry that we are not able to call you and all of Mom's friends to personally share this difficult news. Thank you so much for holding Mom and us in your thoughts and prayers.

With love,

Ed, Christiana, Katharine and Michael


followingdenise.blogspot.com

Gathering Around

We are gathering around Mom, physically, emotionally and spiritually over the past few days. As the saying goes, we've laughed and we've cried.

On Monday, instead of getting the gastric tube she had been waiting for, the doctors felt she was pretty sick and perhaps had aspiration pneumonia. They told us to gather the family and be with her.  It did seem touch and go that night, and we were so grateful when several times she opened her eyes and talked to us. The next day she seemed a little stronger and we again thought we might be able to take her home soon. But yesterday she was weaker again, and we sat with her all through the day and night - waiting, watching, talking, sharing. Morning has dawned again and as I write this, she is enjoying the sunny view out her window. 

We have decided it is best for her to remain here. She has not talked about going home in awhile and she says what good care she is getting here. She loves the doctors and nurses, and she has become a favorite of theirs.

You are here with us. Some of you sent prayers and blessings to share with her, and Mom and all of us have loved them.  Each was was different, and each one touched Mom.  We picked up a bunch of mail being held at the post office and she had a pile of cards for us to read to her.

We've been watching in the room old home movies we recently had transferred to DVDs.  It's great for Mom and us to see Mom and Dad on their honeymoon and being with us as babies and young children. A wonderful life it's been.

In the last few days, Mom has shared amazing stores, interesting visions, and some really funny one liners. She said earnestly last night, "I'm ready, I'm ready, oh Lord, I'm ready." She and God are working out the details. 

Your Favorite Blessing

Mom's good friend from her church gave her these wonderful prayer cards with Bibles verses and prayers.  Tonight the four of us each read one aloud to her and we talked about what words and ideas jumped out at us.

We enjoyed doing it very much.  Mom really loved it.  We said we should do it again and select new blessings.  I thought it might be nice if Mom's friends and family sent Mom their favorite blessing, prayer, Bible verse, or poetry to share with her and us.  You can send it to dsoares5@cox.net.

Mom had a great weekend, but is having a really tough time tonight, struggling not to spit up bile.  I'm counting the minutes to the gastric tube is placed today.

One of the prayers enjoyed tonight from St. Thomas Aquinas:

Grant us o Lord the minds to know you, hearts to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct to please you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you and a hope of finally embracing you. amen

Update on Mom

Mom is still at the hospital; she was moved to the Palliative Care floor where there is a tremendous team of caring medical staff and a quieter atmosphere than the surgical/trauma floor she was previously on. The doctors are trying to make her more comfortable and manage her symptoms so she can enter into a hospice program, either at a hospice residence or at Mom and Dad's home.  

To ease some of the pain and pressure, the doctors inserted a catheter that will be able to easily drain on a regular basis the fluid created by the tumors in abdomen. Due to the bowel obstruction, for the past two weeks Mom had an NG tube placed in her nose to drain her stomach and the tube was becoming very uncomfortable. The plan is that she will undergo one more procedure to insert a gastric drain which will have the same effect as the NG tube draining her stomach. This will allow Mom to have the comfort of drinking tea, broth, water and juice without the build up of pressure in her stomach and without the tube in her nose. This procedure is slated for Monday.

We had two really low days in the hospital last week. One day she was in a great deal of pain, and the following day she was very, very lethargic and not too responsive. The next morning when I went to her room before daybreak I was surprised to find her awake. I could immediately see she was feeling much better. She had another delightful nurse that morning and mom told her all about her sand dollar collection and broke open a sand dollar we had at the hospital to show the nurse the doves inside. In the company and embrace of her sisters, Mom cried about how fast things seem to be happening. She talked to Dad and us later that day, a heart-felt and heart-breaking talk, but it was good for all of us to have that talk. She was high spirits yesterday, feeling like she had a good day.

We will let you know if there are any other big changes and when she gets discharged from the hospital.  If the gastric drain is placed on Monday, I would think the earliest would be Wednesday.

Thanks to everyone for their blog comments, texts and emails. We read them to Mom all the time.  There has been a bit of delay with mail since mailing getting forwarded to Florida is now getting forwarded back to RI, and is on hold at the Rhode Island post office.