A Day of Celebration and Thanksgiving

Last Saturday we had a beautiful celebration of Mom's life. It was poignant, heart-felt and emotional, but those who spoke certainly had us smiling, laughing, singing and even clapping our hands in joy as we remembered many wonderful stories about Mom. 

Dad, Katharine, Michael and I were so very grateful for the many people who attended, including many who had traveled far to be there.  Mom formed such close, authentic bonds with people throughout her life; it was so beautiful to be surrounded by all of her family and her many kindred spirits. The only regret of the day is that we wish we had more time to spend with each of those who came.

We were also very fortunate to have a talented member of the First Baptist congregation record the service and put it on You-tube.  The link to the recording is at: http://youtu.be/NlKbksw7vrI or you can search You Tube for A Service of Celebration & Thanksgiving for Denise Soares.

Of course a celebration of Mom would include talking about her life as "DeeDee". During the service, the grandchildren, grandnieces and nephews came forward and discussed with Pastor Don about what DeeDee had taught them about sand dollars - and then they broke open a sand dollar right there at church to release the sand dollar doves inside.

Photo of children with Pastor Don 

Photo of a successful opening of the sand dollar

Children each receive a sand dollar dove to take with them

Katharine's nine year-old daughter Graylin shares our mother's love of writing and poetry. She wrote a lovely poem for DeeDee and showed great poise reading it at the service.  

Photo of Graylin reading the poem

Someone asked if we could include here on the blog, and so here it is:


They’re giving it life

Just walking in a door
Will tell you
All you need to
Know.
You’ll be able
To tell
Who a person is
By their shelves,
Their collections,
What’s hidden in their nightstand drawers.

I know people with rooms full of books,
People who cover all space in collections.
There are people
Of the sea,
People of the air,
And people of their home
Then some people …
Are everything.
That was DeeDee.

I love the people
The ones who
Frolic and play.
Who live in the night sky,
And kiss the sun.
I know ones who
Collect the salty beach spray
And keep it in their hearts.
DeeDee did all of this.

A penny is worth more than one cent.
Every seashell and sand dollar
Has a story to tell
And few people see
The specialness,
The gift of unique life
In something, someone
So ordinary.
And then people who do
Can always live on,
For they caught love
In their own bare hands.

For those reading this by email, you can find the photos by going to followingdenise.blogspot.com

Mom's Service on Saturday

Dear Friends and Family,

As many of you know, Mom's memorial service will be this Saturday, April 5, at 11 am at First Baptist Church, 228 North Main Street, Fall River, MA.  We will have a reception afterwards in the church hall.

For those of you making your first visit to First Baptist Church, here is some additional information.  The church is on the corner of North Main Street and Pine Street, across the street from the Fall River YMCA.  The church does not have its own parking lot. There is street parking available as well as an office parking lot around the corner from the church at 181 Pine Street that is available on Saturdays for church parking.

We are very grateful for those of you planning to attend the service. Mom has friends and family across the country, and we completely understand that some of you are not able to be here on Saturday. We know you hold Mom and us in your hearts and prayers.

Mom's Service

Dear Family and Friends,

Thank you so much for all your kind words, stories and prayers.  In this past week, we have been really enjoying hearing about Mom in your letters and messages.

We wanted you to let you know that Mom's memorial service will be on Saturday, April 5, at 11 am at the First Baptist Church, 228 North Main Street, Fall River, MA.  We will have a reception afterwards in the church hall.

For those who are coming from out of town, we will be arranging room reservations at the Hampton Inn in nearby Westport, MA, 508-675-8500. Please wait until after March 17 to call for reservations.

Here is a brief write up about Mom that will run in the Fall River newspaper a week before her service.

With love and thanks, Mom's family

Pastor Denise Soebbing Soares, 68, of Tiverton, RI, passed away on March 8, 2014, after a courageous battle with pancreatic cancer. She was the beloved wife of Edward J. Soares.

Denise was born in Ipswich, MA, daughter of the late Marie Dunn Soebbing and the late Thomas J. Soebbing. Raised in Rochester, NY, she attended Our Lady of Mercy High School. An enthusiastic and bright student, she graduated from the College of New Rochelle with a BA in literature. There she met her loving husband Edward of forty-four years. They raised their family in Baldwin, NY. Denise nurtured in their children their love of learning, nature and family traditions.

After college, Denise worked as an in-house editor for several companies; as office administrator for several churches; and also ran her own handmade crafts business. At age 57, Denise entered Andover Newton Theological Seminary, MA. Denise was ordained an American Baptist minister, and felt blessed to be the pastor of Calvary United Presbyterian Church in Fall River, MA.

In addition to her husband, Denise will be greatly missed by her children, Christiana Jones and husband Jamie; Katharine Lucas and husband Chris; and Michael Soares and wife Jiff Martin. Her beloved grandchildren will fondly remember “DeeDee”: Graylin Lucas; Jackson, Sam and Juliet Jones; Elliot Rose and Robin Soares. She is also survived by her sisters Patricia Shields, Mary Ann Thomas, her brother Thomas Soebbing, and her nieces and nephews.

The memorial service celebrating her life will take place at the First Baptist Church, 228 North Main Street, Fall River, MA, on Saturday, April 5, 2014 at 11 am; reception to follow. In lieu of flowers, please direct donations to Dana Farber Cancer Institute, Adult Palliative Care Program, 450 Brookline Avenue, Boston, MA, 02215.

Final Journey and Blessing

With heavy hearts, we want to tell you that our wonderful Mom passed away on Saturday, March 8. Our hearts ache with a loss that we do not yet even fully comprehend, but we find comfort that she is free of her earthly burdens and can be her true beautiful and radiant self once again. As a dear friend said, heaven has gained a truly bright star.

The night before Mom's passed, one of Mom's beloved friends said a beautiful prayer as the family gathered around Mom.

"Guardian of the Galaxies,

Mother of the Universe,

Father of the Stars Beyond Counting,

may we rest in thee tonight."

We will celebrate Mom at a memorial church service at First Baptist Church of Fall River, MA, the church of her adult baptism and ordination.  The service will take place on Saturday, April 5, 2014, at 11 am.  The church is located at 228 North Main Street.

We are sorry that we are not able to call you and all of Mom's friends to personally share this difficult news. Thank you so much for holding Mom and us in your thoughts and prayers.

With love,

Ed, Christiana, Katharine and Michael


followingdenise.blogspot.com

Gathering Around

We are gathering around Mom, physically, emotionally and spiritually over the past few days. As the saying goes, we've laughed and we've cried.

On Monday, instead of getting the gastric tube she had been waiting for, the doctors felt she was pretty sick and perhaps had aspiration pneumonia. They told us to gather the family and be with her.  It did seem touch and go that night, and we were so grateful when several times she opened her eyes and talked to us. The next day she seemed a little stronger and we again thought we might be able to take her home soon. But yesterday she was weaker again, and we sat with her all through the day and night - waiting, watching, talking, sharing. Morning has dawned again and as I write this, she is enjoying the sunny view out her window. 

We have decided it is best for her to remain here. She has not talked about going home in awhile and she says what good care she is getting here. She loves the doctors and nurses, and she has become a favorite of theirs.

You are here with us. Some of you sent prayers and blessings to share with her, and Mom and all of us have loved them.  Each was was different, and each one touched Mom.  We picked up a bunch of mail being held at the post office and she had a pile of cards for us to read to her.

We've been watching in the room old home movies we recently had transferred to DVDs.  It's great for Mom and us to see Mom and Dad on their honeymoon and being with us as babies and young children. A wonderful life it's been.

In the last few days, Mom has shared amazing stores, interesting visions, and some really funny one liners. She said earnestly last night, "I'm ready, I'm ready, oh Lord, I'm ready." She and God are working out the details. 

Your Favorite Blessing

Mom's good friend from her church gave her these wonderful prayer cards with Bibles verses and prayers.  Tonight the four of us each read one aloud to her and we talked about what words and ideas jumped out at us.

We enjoyed doing it very much.  Mom really loved it.  We said we should do it again and select new blessings.  I thought it might be nice if Mom's friends and family sent Mom their favorite blessing, prayer, Bible verse, or poetry to share with her and us.  You can send it to dsoares5@cox.net.

Mom had a great weekend, but is having a really tough time tonight, struggling not to spit up bile.  I'm counting the minutes to the gastric tube is placed today.

One of the prayers enjoyed tonight from St. Thomas Aquinas:

Grant us o Lord the minds to know you, hearts to seek you, wisdom to find you, conduct to please you, faithful perseverance in waiting for you and a hope of finally embracing you. amen

Update on Mom

Mom is still at the hospital; she was moved to the Palliative Care floor where there is a tremendous team of caring medical staff and a quieter atmosphere than the surgical/trauma floor she was previously on. The doctors are trying to make her more comfortable and manage her symptoms so she can enter into a hospice program, either at a hospice residence or at Mom and Dad's home.  

To ease some of the pain and pressure, the doctors inserted a catheter that will be able to easily drain on a regular basis the fluid created by the tumors in abdomen. Due to the bowel obstruction, for the past two weeks Mom had an NG tube placed in her nose to drain her stomach and the tube was becoming very uncomfortable. The plan is that she will undergo one more procedure to insert a gastric drain which will have the same effect as the NG tube draining her stomach. This will allow Mom to have the comfort of drinking tea, broth, water and juice without the build up of pressure in her stomach and without the tube in her nose. This procedure is slated for Monday.

We had two really low days in the hospital last week. One day she was in a great deal of pain, and the following day she was very, very lethargic and not too responsive. The next morning when I went to her room before daybreak I was surprised to find her awake. I could immediately see she was feeling much better. She had another delightful nurse that morning and mom told her all about her sand dollar collection and broke open a sand dollar we had at the hospital to show the nurse the doves inside. In the company and embrace of her sisters, Mom cried about how fast things seem to be happening. She talked to Dad and us later that day, a heart-felt and heart-breaking talk, but it was good for all of us to have that talk. She was high spirits yesterday, feeling like she had a good day.

We will let you know if there are any other big changes and when she gets discharged from the hospital.  If the gastric drain is placed on Monday, I would think the earliest would be Wednesday.

Thanks to everyone for their blog comments, texts and emails. We read them to Mom all the time.  There has been a bit of delay with mail since mailing getting forwarded to Florida is now getting forwarded back to RI, and is on hold at the Rhode Island post office.